healing

when the heart has scars
from all the years it had live

there will come 1 point
where it know it need to forgive
all people that had hurt it

but the most hard to forgive
is the one that wasnt suppose to hurt it
the family of it`s owner

it is not like it dont want to forgive
but it is hard because
maybe it will be hurt again and again in the future

it know that it cant change others
deep down, it wish that
it wont be hurt again
by the person that it love the most

dear,

of all things that had happened, i wonder why it is still there,
why it is so persistent on living in there,
it is so absurd to be that persistent,

be betrayed for times and times,
dont you have the heart?
dont you feel the pain?
dont you have the pride?

stop being persistent,
for thousands times i plead to you,
please stop it forever.
may you be at peace again~

procrastinate

a lot to be done but not in mood to do them,,
kena hantar tu kena hantar ni,
kena buat tu, kena buat ni,
macam2,,
tapi satu pun tak jalan,,

**apela nak jadi~

so rawak~

still tak suka
still perlu berusaha
still sakit
still perlu berusaha


i hate you!!

end of story
but not the end yet~

i hate you!!

for all the faults
for all the wound

i hate you!!
i say but deep inside
still loving you~

to be continued~~

the heart

the wound wont stop bleeding
time do flies fast
but the wound wont heal
not long enough yet

as strong the bars i put there,
that strong i want you to be
so that 1 day you will crush the bars by yourself and not getting hurt

as strong i make the will
i want my limbs to be that strong
so that they wont disobey the will

labmates~

assalamualaikum,,

today feeling like want to write something about my labmates,,
overall i have 3 2nd year master seniors, 1 first year master senior and 9 batchmates,, and all of them are guys,,
sometimes i do feel lonely because i cant talk freely with them because of the language barrier and also they do guys talks that i cant understand,,
sometimes i laugh even though i dont join their conversation..
they are all nice but maybe they still dont feel comfortable to talk to me,, takut aku tak faham kot..

there are 4 people who share the same 2 family name, which are  matsumoto and tanaka..
setakat ni aku tak pernah panggil mana2 ahli lab aku dengan nama.. sebab tak sure nak panggil nama yang mana, nak letak san ke tak..

matsumoto yuki -- orang nye tinggi2, paling tinggi dalam lab tu.. i like his voice,, kasar dan rendah,, kureng sket dari chuck bass.. die macam sensei sebab mostly pasal kadai die tahu..

tanaka kunihiko -- kecik2, banyak cakap.. rasanya dia yang paling banyak cakap dengan aku setakat ni..

matsumoto kazuki -- if i remember correctly his name la,, yang ni pun terer gak bab kadai.. die ala2 bos dalam lab tu sebab die paling kuat..

tanaka @@@ -- tak sempat tangkap nama die apa bile budak2 ni cakap..  kurang tingghi sket drpa yuki..agak banyak cakap tapi pendiam jugak.. lately dia macam tengah fikir something yang berat.. sebab die selalu termenung dalam lab.. risau pasal kerja kot..

narumi @@@ -- orang nye kecik2 pakai spek,, nampak macam nerd tapi kalau kena tajuk bising jugak.. before ni aku duty kemas lab sekali dengan die. tapi sebab the other group kurang orang, so, aku offer diri untuk tukar group..

onodera @@@ -- orang nye senyap dan baik.,,, pernah sekali dia nampak aku tercari2 kat mane nak cucuk plug, n then die syorkan aku cucuk plug kt laptop punye je, sebab takde orang guna pun laptop tu masa tu..

yoshioka @@@--- orang nye kecik2, comel2 aktif sukan.. hari first aku try buat kadai, die yang tlg explain nak buat apa and aku siap pinjam nota dia copy circuit apa nak buat sekali,,

minami @@@-- aku rase ketinggian dia kurang sket pada aku.. jarang nampak dia kat lab.,, maybe die buzy prepare utk presentation kot.. sebab dia orang first present nanti..

kojima hirotsugu --- kojima pon aku jarang nampak dekat lab.. tak tahu kenapa dia ambil banyak gile subjek sem ni.. 9 subjek, 18 kredit.. lab pun jarang datang, kalau datang pun time duty kemas lab je.. orang lain pun pelik dia buat kadai ke tak..

cukup 9 orang labmates.. hope i can mingle well with them.. i got 1 year to go through with them,, and insyaAllah kalau ada rezeki aku sambung master, there are 4 of them who will be there too..

for now, takde gambar untuk di upload..
tak tahu la bila aku akan ada gambar mereka~

i like being in the lab actually... biarpon kadang2 lonely jugak sebab takde orang nak borak,, at least i'm not alone there.. i can laugh and smile there..

still aku rasa segan lagi kot nak minta tolong banyak2 dari mereka.. biarpon aku banyak tak tahu.. nak guna oscilloscope macam mana, nak cari apa dekat mane,, a lot of things that i dont know,, slow2 okay..
i need to adapt myself too..


wassalam~~

p/s: 1 thing i dont like about me is i like to procrastinate~

20 april 2012

assalamualaikum,,

20 april 2012,

something yang aku dah lama tahu just aku pendamkan dalam otak tu,,
aku sorok benda tu jauh2,
aku tak fikir pasal benda tu,,
tapi,,
satu hari tanpa aku fikir panjang benda tu jadi,,,

suppose to in that mean time aku prepare diri aku, so that aku tak terkejut macam ni,,
tapi, nak buat macam mana, dah benda dah jadi,, terima saja lah,,

kalau aku berterusan macam ni, ada peluang berat aku akan turun,,
bayangkanlah real meal yang aku amek dalam sehari adalah sekali je,,
tu pon paling berat nasi, paling kurang maggi,,
and in that day benda lain yang aku makan ialah coklat or buah,,
and yes, i do realized how less i eat now,,

so, sape2 please tolong masakkan something yang sedap untuk aku...

sesuatu yang sepatutnya buat aku menangis, tapi aku keraskan hati aku,,
pepatah kata tiada guna nak menangis bila susu dah tumpah,,,
sekarang banyak benda nak kena fikir so, tangisan tu tunggu lain hari je lah,,
sebab aku tahu one day, i will cry over this thing,,,

for the time being, be strong,,
takkan nak nangis depan labmates kot kan,,
=)

wassalam,,

p/s: a loss that will never be replaced,, sebab setiap benda tu ada tempatnye yang tersendiri,,,