for the first time

assalamualaikum,,

for the first time i feel it
for the first time it hit me
for the first time it break
for the first time it shatter to pieces
for the first time it wears me out
for the first time and hope it is not the last time

for the first time i feel it
the courage i get, the loneliness that start to fade away

for the first time it hit me
that what i'd done to others i may get the punishment this time
but i keep forgetting the sin i'd done to others

for the first time it break
i feel like losing my limbs
like being paralyzed

for the first time it shatter to pieces
i dont have the courage to gather them
i dont know how to mend it

for the first time it wears me out
it teaches me lesson that none of the before had teach me
it drained up all of my courage just to be in one piece for the next day

for the first time and hope it is not the last time
with time i hope i will feel it again,,,